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Giving Pleasure

Another awesome contribution by Cindra Banks at Conscious Couples Coaching


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Get Proficient At Giving Pleasure

by Cindra So prior to meeting Luke, I didn't have the confidence to give head to a penis-bearing human, in fact I told him that I didn't "do that". I had some terrible experiences growing up and never felt capable or interested in learning how to. I had also been with women pretty much exclusively for ten years prior, so hadn't had much practice! Even with women, I thought I was pretty good at it, until I started seeing a women who liked things a little rougher and dominant than my previous long term female partners. That was a huge shock for me, feeling like I didn't know what I was doing in the bedroom with a woman. It's confronting as an adult feeling like you aren't competent at something. You kind of feel like, well it's too late to learn, this is what I know and this is what I will keep doing. I would say the majority of the population are following that paradigm and I think because you are here, you are probably ready to expand your mind a little bit! So, for me two books that changed the game were Ian Kerner's Passionista and She Comes First. I read Passionista first because I wanted to become more confident in giving oral sex to Luke and other men that I would be playing with. This book is an easy read, full of interesting tips and facts about the male genitalia and how their reproductive system works. And then you get to the juicy bit...how to give good head to a penis. Actually, this book gives you a detailed blow by blow (excuse the pun) on the best techniques for hand jobs and blow jobs and everything in between. It's a step by step guide which I love, with different methods, tips and tricks which we simply aren't taught in school or anywhere else for that matter! Although I am pretty bad at remembering details, I managed to try a few of the tools straight away with Luke, one of them was stopping intercourse at a point to suck on the male's cock which proved to go down EXTREMELY well. I think more than anything this book gave me full permission to play, to try new things and to enjoy the process of oral sex. I gained more confidence and got more creative when it came to giving pleasure to penises. And for the She Comes First book...Wow. As a vulva owner myself, I learnt so much about my own body from this book! We actually recommend this to all of our female clients, so they can become empowered in their own bodies and be able to share this with their partner's. If you want to know more about your anatomy, your pleasure centres and the techniques best used for pleasure, then dig into this book. I can attest that the best head I have ever received has been from Luke after reading this book, he is a details orientated human and did a play-by-play of She Comes First and I squirted like crazy. Both books are easy reads, I would recommend getting the hard copy book as there are diagrams and instructions to follow along with that I personally find easier to see on a real page. They do come on Audible too. We have so many other book recommends for you, however these two are ones we pretty much give to every single client that comes to us! Who wouldn't want a roadmap for pleasure? Seriously, don't try and recreate the wheel or feel less than when giving your partner pleasure. Absorb these books, put them into practice and see what works for you. You don't have to do every thing that the book says of course, throw in your own favourites and flavour, try it, talk to your partner/s and see what they enjoy. Can't hurt to spice things up a little!


With Club 687 and Discreet set to open on the 25th of October We are looking forward to lots and lots of pleasure giving !!!!!


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