The Dark feminine

Last week we held a workshop at 687. Some truly amazing women joined me so we could dabble in some dark feminine energies We just tipped the ice-berg in exploring just a few dark goddess energies


We hope to hold another one soon

Delious Wolfe has kindly written this article for us which explores further the fullness of the dark feminine energy



The Dark Feminine


'Where there is light, there must be shadow, where there is shadow there must be light. There is no shadow without light and no light without shadow’ - Haruki Murakami


When the shadow is integrated, self-awareness is found after despair, peace after pain – light within the dark. The dark feminine represents the shadow of the divine feminine. All beings possess both sides of the feminine despite where they sit on the gender spectrum. Feminine, henceforth, refers to the energy of all. It is known by many names such as shakti, yin, Venus, and lunar energy; and symbolically associated with the moon, Mother Earth, and water. The divine feminine represents creativity, flexibility, and nurturing energy. Whereas the dark feminine represents death, decay, chaos, rebirth, and transformation.


The Untapped Dark Feminine


The dark feminine is the connection to our emotions and sexuality. She resides in the subconscious – the underworld of suppression. An untapped dark feminine often results in fear, guilt, shame, manipulation, and rage. This prevents the fulfillment of innate desires and can create an insatiable hunger within the psyche. Various forms of untapped dark feminine attributes have manifested in mythology as demonic child-eating hags and man-possessing harpies. Historically, the dark feminine has been demonized and denied – silenced and suppressed. Many religious teachings view the dark feminine as dirty, shameful, and evoking lust. For instance, according to Jewish folklore, Lilith is a “night monster” - a seductive and murderous demoness of the dark. Similarly, there is much controversy over whether Mary Magdalene was a penitent prostitute, whom Jesus had freed from seven demons, or whether she was his partner and apostle.


The polarising view of the feminine being either - purely light or dangerously dark - often creates a society of sexually repressed people bursting at the seams. When we find a safe place to explore and express all energies within, we are offered the opportunity to transform suppression into self-actualisation. Safe spaces to explore sexual fantasies and dark desires, such as the Dungeon and Discreet, embrace both sides of the divine – the creative intercourse between chaos and connection. In said spaces, we learn to feel and embody all types of emotions, particularly the emotions that have been abandoned and neglected. Use this time to feel those emotions and reflect.


Are there aspects of yourself that you have been told to repress? Are you ready to awaken and re-wild them? If so, why, or why not?


The Embodied Dark Feminine


The embodied dark feminine is in tune with their desires and are fully accountable for their actions. Their choices are not swayed by the projections of culture, rather they come from their core. They do not require external validation nor let shame squander their fantasies.

Make your life orgasmic!


Too often sexual fantasies are shackled to the recesses of our subconscious. What if, they were shackled (and whipped) in a safe place to be explored and expressed? Where puritanical culture silences sexual deviance; the sex industry encourages the full spectrum of sensation. When we approach our darkness in a curious and playful way, we cultivate self-acceptance and mitigate shame. Through the integration of light and dark, wholeness is created, vitality is boosted, and our inner power is strengthened. Ignite your radical self-acceptance! Partake in healthy hedonism! Allow yourself to unapologetically embrace erotic pleasure and cultivate not just confidence, but self-esteem. The greater we understand the dark the more we can draw our subconscious strengths to the light.

Look to the goddesses and sorceresses that symbolise the embodied aspects of the dark feminine and see which embodied deity resonates with you. Some of my favourite include Hecate (Goddess of magic), Lilith (the rebel), Kali (Goddess of death), Sekhmet (Goddess of war), and Persephone (queen of the underworld). As archetypal energies within the psyche, these personages represent transcendent energy – death and rebirth. Emotions such as fear, pain, pride, rage, lust, and envy cannot be transformed by denying them; rather they must be brought into consciousness.

How to Embody the Dark Feminine


Are you longing to be more courageous and creative? Do you want to tap into your innate power, pleasure, and playfulness? Do you long to release sexual shame, guilt, and trauma?

Here are some ways you can make that happen:


· Connect to your sexual self: self-pleasure, discreet services,

· Use your voice: scream, sing, set boundaries, recite poetry

· Be curious and explorative: learn and/or try something new

· Validate yourself and steer away from external validation

· Shadow work: journal, speak to a therapist or a trusted friend who can hold space

· Subconscious practices: psychodrama, guided meditations, dream journaling

· Be selfish – put your needs first (in moderation)

· Connect with your inner artist: paint, write, cook, play an instrument

· Awaken your senses: light a candle, draw a hot bath, wear your favourite fabric

· Spruce up your space: declutter, rearrange, and cleanse.

· Bedazzle your body: lingerie, jewellery and makeup. Get sexy with it!

· Create a ritual: connect to a deity of the dark (mentioned above), provide offerings to the deceased or ancestors.

· Move your body: dance, yoga, or a favoured physical activity. Here’s a few of my favourite songs that stir up the dark divine within. The playlist starts off slow has a peak and finishes softly. Use this opportunity to dance with the dark.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HsjRxla7GpEc0eEUUwf5r?si=d135d72f22704f8c



If you have enjoyed this article, send in a photo of your unique expression of the dark feminine with the hashtag #notdiscreetdarkfeminine. Stay wild.




Delious is a psychotherapist, writer and pro-dom who enjoys the sacredness of sexuality and shadow work. You can book them through Club687